It smelled like Christmas today.

Outside the air was cold and crisp. No matter where you went, there was the slight smell of woodsmoke in the air. It's the kind of weather that puts a smile on your face, knowing the best holiday of the entire year is on it's way. It's the kind of weather that makes you want to cuddle up on the couch with a blanket and a good book, hot cocoa in one hand and ginger cookies in the other. It's the kind of weather that made me add graham crackers, Hershey bars, and marshmallows to my shopping list for tomorrow.

My kids have never had s'mores. This is a grievous error that soon will be rectified.

I'm anxious for the holidays. I'm looking forward to spending real quality time with my extended family. I'm looking forward to the sights and smells that have comforted me since my childhood. Grandma's house always smelled like something baking. I'm almost in tears with the joy and the anticipation.

Iz will probably remember this Christmas. She's old enough. I hope it brings her as much happiness later on as my memories have brought me. Even if those memories decided to leave out the names of my fourth cousins (and other obscure family members).

It's weird, after you've seen someone every Christmas your entire life, and you don't remember their name. You're past the point of no return. I can't ask. How embarrassing would that be?

"Ummm... hello... I know I've seen you every year since I was born, but I was wondering if you could tell me your name just one more time?"

Nope. Besides, I remember all the important ones.

The only thing missing will be Grandpa. It will be my first Christmas there without him. The other part of the "anxious for the holidays" is whether or not the villagers will revolt when reality hits. In my head, I know he's gone. In my heart, I can't envision Christmas without him. Especially since I don't carry a knife, so I guess Dad will have to take over cutting the strings on the hay bales, so the kids can feed the cows. I don't have any idea who is going to call them to dinner, though.

*sigh*