Tough

It just seems like there is a bit of melancholy everywhere. Today at church I spoke with quite a few people. Everyone's going through something, including us. There were some people whose problems made my problems look so insignificant. I guess it's a healthy dose of perspective, but it still breaks my heart that people I know and love are going through these kinds of things.

So many things being lost... relatives, unborn children, houses... Things that make you want to jump out and help, but there is absolutely nothing you can do. It leaves you feeling so helpless and incompetent.

Which led to thoughts about finances. Ours in particular, but in general as well. I consider myself to be quite good at manipulating the checkbook to work to our best advantage, but the things I don't have control over keep catching up to us. Another way I'm left feeling helpless. Sometimes I have to just throw up my hands and say... "Well, I don't know what we're going to do." We're a not-so-proud member of the paycheck-to-paycheck club. What worries me is... what happens if something happens?

This is not just a concern for myself, but for my entire generation and the next. We're products of the immediate gratification generation. Don't end up where your parents are, start there. Don't wait on that big-screen, buy it now, with no interest for twleve months! What they don't tell you is that if you don't pay it off they backcharge you interest and then you end up paying twice (or more) what you would have if you'd have just paid it off.

Our entire nation is on a paycheck-to-paycheck basis. How scary is that? Especially with all the layoffs going on! What happens if something happens? A layoff, then immediate bankruptcy because you drown in the debt of things you didn't need but couldn't wait for. It terrifies me what would happen if Bryan lost his job.

So we're inching our way out of this hole. And the devil doesn't like it. He likes for us to live in fear, to not have a safety net. To suffer for years upon years for mistakes we made that we are trying to correct. Because every time we move forward a step, something happens and we're forced back two. I'm sad to say that we didn't meet any of our financial goals this year. Instead, we're worse off now than we were in January. Not because we were silly, but because of CRAP that kept happening. Total and utter crap. Senseless, uncontrollable crap, and that's the worst kind.

What can be done? Nothing, really. Keep trudging along. I know our perserverance will be rewarded. I know our sound financial decisions will be rewarded. I know if we can keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually we will be free.

And if you want to send a Christmas gift, make it a payment to our credit cards. ;)