Dumbcast

Dear Comcast:

I'm not lying to you.

I'm not just trying to get you to leave me alone.

I'm not being rude, withholding information, or yankin' your chain. I'm not a weirdo, a freak, or socially inept.

WE TRULY, SERIOUSLY, ABSOLUTELY DON'T WATCH TV.

I haven't really watched TV (except the spare show I download off the internet) for about 8 years now. I don't know the plot lines in most shows, I've never even seen an episode of Desperate Housewives or the Gilmore Girls. Ever.

I don't need cable TV. I don't want a package deal that would give it to me and increase my bill. I won't watch it. And if I do, I will get sucked in and my house will fall around my ears because I can't miss Oprah.

I know this, and I'm stronger for it.

Please stop calling me EVERY DAY.