Hock One for Me

So I'm having a conversation with my father, and the subject of loogies comes up. I'm still racking my brain trying to figure out how we got on the subject of snot, but there you go. I think it all started with talking about my son's allergies.

My dad told me that guys just hock loogies. Period. And girls are silly not to. But I'll tell you this, there's a reason why girls don't hock loogies.

You know the whole saying, "You throw like a girl?" It's an instinct for women to play submissive to men. We purposefully don't practice strength and aim, making it seem as if we need a big, strong man to protect us and help us. (Notice I didn't say club us over the head and drag us off by the hair.) But, this puts us out of practice and we end up throwing like a girl anyway. The things we do to catch a guy...

Well, it's the same deal with loogies. I am certain that girls don't hock loogies because if we did, not only would we lose the oh-so-valuable impression we've worked so hard to create of gentility and propriety, but we would miss and it would end up clung to our significant others' brand new Doc Martens. Or even worse, his ear like in Something About Mary. Ewww.

Think about that next time you and your sibling are playing "S-not S-too."